Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Tales from an Alternate Universe

Yesterday morning it became time for Dylan's swimming lesson. I could hear Dylan playing in his room so I called after him letting him know that it was time to get his swimming suit on. I heard a gasp, scuttle and then silence. Silence is a bad thing at our house, so I went to see what was going on.
I encountered this:


...and no Dylan in sight. Then I heard a little giggle from the recently emptied toy cupboard; which upon inspection revealed this:


When I asked him, Dylan explained that the hand prints (which he made super early in the morning without permission) were meant to scare me because it was a sort of indicator that he had been kidnapped to an alternate universe. Apparently the toy cupboard was the portal from which he returned.

Lately Dylan has developed quite a penchant for trying to get a dramatic reaction from his poor mama. This is only the latest in a string of pseudo disappearances or death scenes orchestrated for my benefit alone. I must say that it's been a good practice for me because I no longer experience chilling panic when I see Dylan prostrated out on the floor; I just assume he's going for the "reaction thrill" once again.

I really must give him some serious props for his creativity with this particular scenario however; what a genius wee rascal my son is!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Shocking Parenting Moment

Here is a transcript of a conversation that occurred in our home the other night (warning it has a cuss word):

Setup: Owen and I were moving things around in the kitchen when Dylan walked in...

Dylan: "What in the hell is going on here?!"

Owen and Me: Shocked gasp followed by flabbergasted silence.

Owen (sputtering): Dylan, you just used a bad word that we don't use in our home."
Dylan: "Which one?"
Me: "You know... the h-e double toothpick one...." (feeling like an idiot as soon as it crosses my lips.)
Dylan "What?"
Owen: Um... you know... The word that is the name of place that the Devil lives."
Dylan: "Wait a minute! I never said ARI-ZOnn-NA!!!"
Me and Owen: "BWA HA HA HA HA* GASP* HA HA HA HA ha ha ha ha ha ha " (falling to the floor gasping for air.)
Dylan: "What did I say?"