I know this is a post that many would scope the title and leave. I know, we're all tired of this topic but my dear mother sent me an article that was beautifully written and contains a Christian message. That is to say, there is no criticism or blame just truth. Here's a link if you're interested: http://www.meridianmagazine.com/lineuponline/081117battle.html
Now on to the "things" part:
I want to thank those of you who read and responded to my last post. It really meant a lot to me to have such support and agreement. Sometimes I feel that I've been ministered to and that others have truly mourned with me., this was one of these times. With Dylan's adoption as well as this latest one, I feel very vulnerable because I really don't feel that I'm worthy of the immense blessing of being able to have children born to and sacrificed by others.
I don't know if you remember me speaking of her, but Dylan's birth mom is a stellar individual. It took me years to come to grips with the Lords will in Dylan's placement because I could see in her so many attributes and talents that were far above my own. Since then, I've come to realize and accept that we may not always (or ever for that matter) be able to understand God's will. It's just not a part of this world. We can however, accept it and find peace in bending our beliefs and will to match his.
I know that there is a little one that is meant to be in our family out there right now. There are some very sacred events that happened when Dylan's birthmom was pregnant with him that makes it impossible for me to believe anything else but that he was always meant to be my son. I've been experiencing the same thing in the past year with very similar experiences that helps me to know that despite the ridicule and disdain that I feel from my neighbors; and the freaked out ambivalence I feel from my friends at church, this is right and my son is on his way.
Okay that was totally tangential. Sorry. Next week I promise to write something happy and fun and light to read. Thanks for the love all!
I think it's wonderful that you get the opportunity to add to your family. Those kids need you as much as you need them. You are amazing parents and any child would be immeasurably blessed to join your family. :) I'm so happy that you get to do this.
ReplyDeleteIn my own fertility struggles I've spanned the spectrum, on the one side feeling resigned to childlessness (i.e. if we can't have our own kids, I don't want anyone else's), to the other side feeling an urgent ambition (hunger, even) to rescue, foster, and adopt dozens of parentless kids who need kidless parents like us. That's not a very pretty way to say it, but at the end of the day, it works out the way it works out and I hope I'm worthy of the task. :)
Becky, somehow I missed your last blog. Elizabeth told me about it later, though, and I was shocked at the lack of thinking that can occur in some people's heads. Take it as a form of sick entertainment, if you can. We are hopeful and excited for you.
ReplyDeleteBecky, I love you and think you are just great. I heard that you will be visiting soon, that is wonderful! I am looking forward to it.
ReplyDeleteBecky, I've been thinking all day about the Meridian article that you referenced in your opening paragraph. I've read and re-read it and stewed over it for some time. I'm still not entirely sure where you stand on the issue, what your other blog readers think, or what kind of feedback you'd be interested in receiving. Much like my own blog, the silence of your commenters perhaps speaks its own volumes. :) Or, maybe it just doesn't drive you insane when people refuse to answer you. (I'm nutty that way.) I'm going to engage you with a response. *gasp* ;)
ReplyDeleteReady?
You already know my opinion on Prop 8, so I won't beat that dead horse on your blog. Believe it or not, I'm actually holding back considerably on my review of the article. (uh-oh, it's too late to say "don't get me started." LOL)
I just have 2 things to say. (1) I think it's worth remarking that many of the arguments and talking points referenced in support of Prop 8 in the Meridian article were the very same that fueled my own personal motivation to oppose it. How about that! :) Sometimes we get different answers to the same prayer.
(If anyone out there wonders how this can be, mozy on over to http://www.mormonsformarriage.com and you'll get a clearer idea of where "people like me" are coming from.)
And this could be my raw nerves talking, but (2) not everyone opposed to Prop 8 is in league with the Adversary or under the influence of the devil (I'm NOT suggesting you believe this at all; it was inferred by the general tone of the article. I really hope the author of the article doesn't truly feel this way either). I deplore the childish actions of hatred carried out by BOTH sides of this particular debate. (yes, both sides.) As a pacifist by nature, I must admit it stings me a little to be labeled a "threat" or a "bully," just because I march in protest alongside my GLBTQA neighbors. I understand where their hurt and anger comes from and I feel tremendous compassion for those who consider themselves victimized by the passage of Prop 8. I don't condone ugly behavior. It's very sad and unfortunate. People may cry "foul" back and forth at each other 'til Kingdom Come, but it doesn't bridge the gaps or solve any problems in the mean time.
Sorry to "clog your blog" with my ramblings. It's a delicate subject and close to my heart. And apparently I just can't shut up about it. (sheesh, Lady!) ;)
Hugs & Kisses to the ever-growing Spencer clan,
Liz
I can't believe that you are getting such ambivalent and negative vibes from people around you! Adoption can be such a hugely positive thing in the life of a family! I support you and Owen completely. Also, none of us are perfect, and therefore we are not perfect parents. To wonder whether another person would be a better parent for your child (whatever the biological relationship) is futile. You are a good mother, because you love Dylan, and you put your best into rearing and providing for him.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you don't have to be perky and happy all the time, least of all on your blog! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your feelings with us!
Not that I can even imagine how you feel, but I do have to ask: if it weren't for fantastic people like you, who would raise all those little ones who really need a good mom and dad? I know it must be hard to know you'll never bear your own children in this life, but I'm glad there are people like you and Owen who are good people willing to take care of those little ones in need.
ReplyDelete